story by MARIO BOUCHER
Positive habits are the stepping stones to a healthier, more balanced lifestyle— aiding sleep, nutrition, stress management and emotional balance. Habit formation is simply the process of practicing something until it becomes second nature.
Exactly how much time does it take to develop a new habit? Recent data from the Alliance for Research in Exercise, Nutrition and Activity (ARENA) in Australia indicates that establishing a consistent habit typically requires between 59 and 66 days.
“We’ve all heard that it takes 21 days to form a habit. That’s not exactly true,” says Timothy Beck, Ph.D., co-founder of Neurofit Connections in Cary and a practicing therapist. “It can take far longer for some and far less time for others. For those folks who have a strong right hemisphere, routine can be a challenge, and unless there is some desire or benefit for forming the habit, it can be nearly impossible. On the other hand, those who have a strong left hemisphere, routine and consistency are the desired state and, as a result, forming a habit is easy and relatively quick.”
According to the National Wellness & Fitness Association, a nonprofit focused on promoting health, wellness and fitness, you need to develop a behavior that becomes a habit. When something becomes part of your routine, you are less likely to skip it.
Brit Guerin, MS, M.Ed., owner of Current Wellness in Raleigh and a licensed clinical mental health counselor, says, “Wellness routines are unique to each person, and there’s really no ‘right’ way.’ I would suggest finding small ways to integrate mindfulness and movement into your life that feel good and are sustainable. Another way to move towards wellness is to integrate micro moments into your day-to-day, such as pausing to take a deep breath or stretching at your desk.”
Bringing Both Sides of the Brain Into Wellness
Beck explains that “Physical and mental health go hand in hand. Running, walking or working out on a regular basis helps clear the mind and strengthen the brain body connection. Ideally, exercise should include both upper and lower body activities. Mentally, you want to be balanced as well. Again, we look to the hemispheres of the brain as some activities, like playing computer games, or logic games, or solving puzzles increase the activity of the left hemisphere and other activities such as playing the piano or guitar, and creative writing increase the activity of the right hemisphere.”
“Too much of one type of activity without a balance of the other is not great for your mental health,” Beck adds. “Essentially, if one is already left strong, increased left brain activity without increased right brain activity will create or increase symptoms of neurological disorders like autism and ADHD. The same is true for the opposite hemisphere. Unfortunately, we live in a left-brain society, given all the technology that surrounds us on a daily basis.”
Hardwiring Healthy Habits
According to the National Wellness & Fitness Association (NWFA), forming a habit involves three key steps:
•Trigger: Something that signals the start of the behavior. This could be an event, time of day or location.
•Action: The habit or behavior, like doing your workout.
•Reward: The benefit or positive feeling you get after completing the habit, which reinforces the behavior.
NWFA says understanding these steps is key to creating lasting routines. After a workout, acknowledge the effort you put in and give yourself a small reward— maybe a healthy smoothie, a calming shower or simply a moment to appreciate how far you’ve come. Over time, the activity itself becomes its own reward.
Distractions happen, but building a new habit deserves your full focus. Put your phone on pause and give yourself a few uninterrupted moments—your future self will thank you.
“The world around us tends to impose, or really, we let the world around us impose on our lives,” Beck says. “Take a left-brain strong individual, who accounts for a majority of people in the world today. They are motivated by goals, and love routine and consistency. When there is not a goal, something to strive for, or things change, the ability to maintain the habit can be harder to keep.”
Guerin adds that for people who feel their habit isn’t sticking, it’s likely because it doesn’t fit their schedule, lifestyle or interests. “This is totally normal and nothing to be ashamed of. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to put down habits and pick up other ones,” she says.
She also believes that giving yourself grace and allowing yourself to change and evolve, rather than sticking to one thing, is very natural, and encourages collaborating with yourself instead of forcing activities you don’t enjoy.
Timothy Beck, Ph.D. of Neurofit Connections in Cary, believes busy lives don’t have to mean distant families.
Choose activities together and let your children bring friends along.
Wellness is personal, says Brit Guerin, MS, M.Ed., of Current Wellness in Raleigh.
She suggests finding simple, sustainable moments of mindfulness and movement that feel good to you.
Photo courtesy of Brit Guerin
Strengthening Connections at Home
Life gets busy, and family habits can fall off track. Beck notes that life often feels hectic because we allow it to be and that, as a society, we rarely make intentional time to reconnect with family and friends or to simply spend meaningful time together. He suggests physical activities such as a family hike or a trip to the park. “Be together doing things. For families with young children, this is an easy ask. As kids get older, they will want to deepen their attachment to their tribe, their friends. Make sure to include their growing tribe in your family activities and let your children know they can participate in their friends’ family activities.”
Establishing family habits helps slow the pace of life and fosters better emotional connections. “More spaciousness and less urgency help regulate the nervous system,” Guerin says. “Activities that foster togetherness are so important for emotional connection. Humans need attention, presence and love as a basic need. The more that we can offer this to one another, the more well we will feel.”
There are plenty of educational and stimulating activities that families can experience together. “Do escape rooms or treasure hunts or frisbee football in the backyard,” Beck says. “The goal here is to be out and about as a family—without the devices. Finally, have family goals and values and find ways to ensure you meet those goals and maintain those values.”
Creating wellness routines for the whole family isn’t always smooth sailing, but the rewards make it a fun adventure.
“It’s important to realize that you are in charge of your lives and, as a family, make the decisions that impact the family,” Beck concludes. “Make sure to schedule time for family activities because, as children get older, they will naturally detach from their families so they can make their way in the world. Create lasting memories while you are all together.”